The Sandra Seeley Column

A Widow's Handbook               In my last article on navigating widowhood, I suggested going on adventures. In 2024, I spent my birthday as part of the crew on a historic tall ship. For my 79th birthday in 2025, I donned a racing suit, helmet and HANS device, mounted my Mustang Dark Horse vehicle and drag raced down the Charlotte Motor Speedway at over 100 mph! Who knows what I'll be doing in September 2026? In between birthdays, I keep trying to think of ways to meet a special friend, someone to have dinner with, see a movie together, or share a holiday. It would certainly make the days less lonely. So I'm developing a Widow's Handbook for meeting a friend.  Since bars are not my cup of tequila, I started hanging out at Home Depot. When asked if I need help finding anything, I say, "No thank you. I'm just browsing." Then I walk up and down the aisles looking for a handsome gentleman of a certain age with no wedding ring. Finding a handyman wo...

Plan An Adventure Birthdays have a habit of coming every year, whether or not you are grieving. September 13, 2024 marked the fourth birthday without my beloved, Ed. Family was going to celebrate with me on the 15th, but I did not want to be alone on my actual day. I made reservations for a one night stay at the beautiful Courtyard Erie Bayfront Hotel by Marriott.  Note to my readers: Tell people when it is your birthday. The hotel staff gifted me with a free dinner and free breakfast the next morning.  At the last minute, I decided to invite my sister, Tammy Warholic Comino to join me on this trip. She graciously accepted and even did the driving. Her superpower has always been driving a manual shift transmission vehicle (a stick shift), and she does so very smoothly! So I was going on an adventure with my sister in a fun car. Our hotel even provided a free ($25 value) breakfast for her, too.  We visited the lighthouses on Presque Isle, but the highlight of the trip for...

The journey from Childhood to Widowhood happened too soon. After almost three years without my beloved Ed, grief still comes in waves. Sometimes I feel as if I'm caught in a riptide of sadness that won't release its grip on me.  Today would have been our 46th wedding anniversary. This milestone's gemstone is the pearl. So with that in mind, I hope to offer some pearls of wisdom to others grieving the loss of the love of their life. To continue the riptide analogy, I'm choosing to not struggle against the current. I allow grief to manifest itself, but I'm the one in control. By choosing to be happy, I'm swimming parallel to shore and safety (less sadness) is the end result. This morning, I dressed in some pretty summer clothes, put on jewelry Ed had bought me and left home wearing a smile. Eating alone in a restaurant has never been a problem for me. I always take a book with me, which often sparks conversations with strangers about my current bestseller. Sometim...