The journey from Childhood to Widowhood happened too soon. After almost three years without my beloved Ed, grief still comes in waves. Sometimes I feel as if I'm caught in a riptide of sadness that won't release its grip on me.
Today would have been our 46th wedding anniversary. This milestone's gemstone is the pearl. So with that in mind, I hope to offer some pearls of wisdom to others grieving the loss of the love of their life.
To continue the riptide analogy, I'm choosing to not struggle against the current. I allow grief to manifest itself, but I'm the one in control. By choosing to be happy, I'm swimming parallel to shore and safety (less sadness) is the end result.
This morning, I dressed in some pretty summer clothes, put on jewelry Ed had bought me and left home wearing a smile. Eating alone in a restaurant has never been a problem for me. I always take a book with me, which often sparks conversations with strangers about my current bestseller. Sometimes this honestly annoys me if I'm at a really exciting part. I actually prefer physical books rather than reading on a device. I visit my library almost every week for new releases.
So my advice to you today is, don't stay home just because you are alone. Take a friend, a book or go alone, but still celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc. You are still living, and it's okay to have fun.
One of my favorite songs is One Small Star by John McDermott. It always makes me cry, but in a good way. John sings:
I'm learning how to live without you
And I never thought I could
And even how to smile again
I never thought I would
My wish for all of you is to learn to smile again. And the lyrics continue with, "Your light still shines in my heart."
Happy Anniversary to my husband, Ed. Your light is definitely shining brightly in my heart. Until we meet again, I love you forever and beyond.
is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Columns. She is a lifelong educator whose teaching experience ranges from suburban Bethel Park, PA to Hawaii to urban Pittsburgh Public's Homewood, Hill District and Squirrel Hill communities. She has taught in every grade level from Kindergarten through Grade 5. She has a Master's Degree in Education from The University of Pittsburgh with a minor in English. Her passion has always been the teaching of Communications: Reading and Writer's Workshop. She is now a freelance writer. To contact the author, click the following link.
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