The Sandra Seeley Column

January 4, 2025 Dearest Tammy, I was a freshman in college at California State College, now called Pennsylvania Western University, California, in 1965 when I first heard the exciting news! I had a baby sister! I remember that day as if it were a minute ago. To quote the Irish novelist, John Banville, “The past beats inside me like a second heart.” (Just a few fun facts about my friend, John. He grew up in Wexford, Ireland and was born on 12/8/45.) I was living in the Green Street dorm on the second floor. This was before the existence of cell phones, so when we got a phone call or wanted to make one, we had to go down to the lobby. Nothing like having to make or receive calls while any number of dorm residents and their guests might be lounging there on couches and chairs. The phone was mounted on the wall right outside of the resident hall director’s (warden’s) office. On a side note, there was also a campus wide curfew of 10:00 PM. A piercing whistle would sound all over campus to w...

Plan An Adventure Birthdays have a habit of coming every year, whether or not you are grieving. September 13, 2024 marked the fourth birthday without my beloved, Ed. Family was going to celebrate with me on the 15th, but I did not want to be alone on my actual day. I made reservations for a one night stay at the beautiful Courtyard Erie Bayfront Hotel by Marriott.  Note to my readers: Tell people when it is your birthday. The hotel staff gifted me with a free dinner and free breakfast the next morning.  At the last minute, I decided to invite my sister, Tammy Warholic Comino to join me on this trip. She graciously accepted and even did the driving. Her superpower has always been driving a manual shift transmission vehicle (a stick shift), and she does so very smoothly! So I was going on an adventure with my sister in a fun car. Our hotel even provided a free ($25 value) breakfast for her, too.  We visited the lighthouses on Presque Isle, but the highlight of the trip for...

The journey from Childhood to Widowhood happened too soon. After almost three years without my beloved Ed, grief still comes in waves. Sometimes I feel as if I'm caught in a riptide of sadness that won't release its grip on me.  Today would have been our 46th wedding anniversary. This milestone's gemstone is the pearl. So with that in mind, I hope to offer some pearls of wisdom to others grieving the loss of the love of their life. To continue the riptide analogy, I'm choosing to not struggle against the current. I allow grief to manifest itself, but I'm the one in control. By choosing to be happy, I'm swimming parallel to shore and safety (less sadness) is the end result. This morning, I dressed in some pretty summer clothes, put on jewelry Ed had bought me and left home wearing a smile. Eating alone in a restaurant has never been a problem for me. I always take a book with me, which often sparks conversations with strangers about my current bestseller. Sometim...

My experience with ballet began when my daughter was a fourth grade ballerina at the Sue Richard Dance Studio. For the past three years, we have shared our love for dance by attending an annual ballet at The Benedum Theater in Pittsburgh. My first professional ballet was La Bayadere, The Temple Dancer. Next came Le Corsaire, The Pirate. This year on February 11th, we saw Alice In Wonderland, the White Rabbit following girl, who enters a world of magic and mayhem. While attending La Bayadere, I would not have been able to define " arabesque " or " port de bras ", but my heart knew something special was happening when I witnessed the visually stunning and rhythmic tapping of the toe shoes in the scene called " The Kingdom of the Shades ." I was mesmerized by the stability and precision of the dancers. It was only recently that I learned that Mikhail Baryshnikov considered this ballet to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest classical w...

Aged To Perfection Kris Kristofferson has performed for me via 8 track tape, cassette tape, CD and live at The Palace Theatre, Greensburg, PA. I’ve listened to his music from the 1970’s to January 27, 2017 and beyond, where a full house joined me in a music appreciation evening of raw Kris. The intimate feel of this Palace jewel suggested a gathering of friends in my living room, singing along with our talented, guitar playing friend. The lights dimmed, Kris, sans introduction, walked to center stage alone, plugged in his guitar, adjusted his neck harmonica and began the first of many fan favorites. For the next two hours, to paraphrase the lyrics in a Billy Joel song," Kris sang and played me a memory." I was transported back to a time of polyester leisure suits and bell bottom pants, platform shoes and lava lamps, youth and marriage, Jaws and a Bahama honeymoon, more future ahead of me than behind. Kris wore his jeans and age with equal comfort. The Si...

Wolfgang, we didn't have enough time with you. January 19, 2017 was the worst day of our lives. Late morning we called the vet, who would make a house call at 7:00 PM. We sat on death row with you all day counting down the hours. You made many trips outside just to feel the grass, see the sky and smell your favorite scents. You said your good-byes to Debbie, your favorite mail carrier, who always left treats in the mailbox for you. We pulled out all your toys one by one, and tried to engage you in play. We know eating was difficult for you, but you still managed to eat some of your favorite Frosty Paws ice cream and apple slices. If I have a choice, my last meal will be ice cream also. We hugged and kissed you as many times as you and time would allow. How can this be the last time we will feel your heart beating in rhythm with ours? How can we do what needs to be done? How can we not? Wolfgang, we tried to be as courageous as you. For seven months you battled the...